out through the main doors
into the blistering heat of a july day
i was guided to the back door
of an armour plated red ford sierra
my head gently but firmly
pushed towards its roasting hot interior

remanded

i was forced onto the rear seat
another cop
big bloke
ginger haired with massive sideburns
got in the other door
he pointed the barrel of his semi-automatic
at my head and snarled 

"behave!"

 
we were escorted by two motorcycle cops
across the craigavon bridge
out into the countryside
past the river I used to fish in and
the nut house i later stayed in

we went under some trees
down the dual carriageway
that runs along the outside of
a massive industrial estate

i was terrified

i thought i was going to die

ginger smiled, winked and pretended to squeeze his trigger
his eyes never left me as he sniggered

"mind the bumps!

 this gun could go off!"

the driver laughed. i coughed
the female cop in the passenger seat said

"that's enough"

she passed around some cigarettes and lit one up for me
i trembled as i smoked it savouring,

every

single

puff

ginger farted then wound down his window

"you've no sense of humour doll.

 that's your fuckin' problem"

we were guided through the main gates of the prison
past barbed wire fencing, bullet proof grills
metal detectors, british soldiers on security detail
they looked all hot and bothered

remanded

i was led to a shower room
all new inmates had to wash
and be peppered with anti-flea powder
i was taken to the doctor for a general fitness check
he shuffled loads of paperwork then asked

"catholic or protestant?"

 
i said 

"no religion"

he tapped his teeth with his pen 

"that's probably why you're here son"

i broke down in tears
uncontrollable sobs
i needed my prozac
i needed my dad
i needed to know why I was here

he let me cry then said 

"we'll get you sorted. try to get some rest.

do you have any allergies?

are you a vegetarian?

this prison officer will take you to your cell"

i was confused

my mind locked in a living hell

remanded...